in my memories

there we were 

sitting under the tuscan sky

laughing at jokes none of us understand

I stroked your hair 

and you tugged on my heart strings 

you held my hand in yours

and looked me in the eye

as you told me you love

it was almost like a whisper

it all felt like warm honey 

you saw through my soul

you read me like an open book

while you kept reaching out to the most hidden parts of me 

inside the deepest, darkest corners of my soul

'don't drown'

I warned you

it's dark in there

"I'd travel the darkest of places that ever cease to exist just to fine me"

and so I let you drown'

I didn't stop you

you had reached too far to come back now

but I could still see you

there you were

making peace with my demons 

you are like a scent

a fragrance

something like a flower

a whiff of which makes my mind go hazy

something, I still can't forget 

you come out

and hold me tight 

as you screamed into my ears 

"I FOUND YOU"

you made it 

you found me 

"I'm never going to let go of you"

is what you told me 

and, I fell for you a little more 

you looked at me

with warm eyes

as you smiled softly

you touched my hand 

with affection

and I had never felt so light

you told me you'll always be here, with me. 

now that you're gone forever

I look for you in all the stars,

in every bird that passes by,

in the first autumn leaf which falls,

and in myself. 

thus I take my last breath

hoping the next time I wake up, it's next to you. 

just another teenage girl

                      

Hey, why don’t you smile a little? Hey, why don’t you laugh more? Why do you laugh say so much? Dude, you speak so much stop it you are annoying. You look like a mess, you look nice, hey that guy is staring at you, wear something nice, dont sit like that. You eat like a pig. You eat so little. Eat more. Eat less. You are fat. You are so skinny. You are rude. You are such a bitch etc etc shit.

Well, you know what You and your opinions/ comments/ “ just saying” can go eff themselves cuz I don’t give a rat’s fart about it. I am just another teenage girl dealing with her hormones and stuff I am afraid and maybe not comfortable or anything to speak about, I have my own battles to fight so people who have to say crap to me can go dump themselves in their own shit cuz I honestly neither have time nor energy deal with anything more. Period.

I am just another teenage girl who needs support sometimes, but won’t ever say it cuz duh, who would? I am just another teenage girl who needs love and affection and care from people who could give that to me. I am just another teenage girl who either talks a lot cuz she is an extrovert or I might be just another teenage girl who doesn’t talk much cuz she is busy having a thousand conversations with herself. I am just another teenage girl who has a lot of love to give but no-one to give to; or if I’m lucky I might have someone to give all my love to; or maybe I have a lot of love to give but I’m too scared. I am just another teenage girl who deserves respect like every other person does.

I might have problems at my home, maybe some serious issues with my dad or mom; or if I’m lucky maybe everything is fine at my home and I have loving parents or maybe I don’t have parents at all. I might be cool and chill and be a bitch (or maybe not) but even I am amiable no matter what people say. Maybe I just haven’t found the right group of people yet. Maybe, I really am bad, and if I am I can be better. Maybe, I’m good, but I can be better too. Maybe I’m insecure about the way I look or I am or about my body or maybe I am not. 

But above it all, above all the battles, above all the pain, above all the happiness, above all the sorrows,above all the tears,above all the secrets,above everything that’s hidden beneath I am just another teenage girl, and I intend to stay that way in the eyes of the society cuz I am that one special teenage girl (maybe in a positive way or a negative) in my own eyes and I’d keep it that way.